Category: Goals

Because; accountability

How having a Sales & Leadership Coach dramatically improved my business, my results, and my life.

The Missing Piece

Over the last 12 months I have made many significant and positive changes in my life. In fact, just this weekend I was creating a new vision board. I did this same activity at the same time last year. When I was finished, I laid the two versions (this years and last year’s) side by side and was again reminded of how much growth has taken place. Even writing about it makes me take a deep breath in and release a sigh of gratitude. The only word that comes to mind is “wow”.

I have shared a lot of this journey on social media. I have been flooding Facebook and Instagram with pictures of meditation practices, underlined paragraphs from books, and personal development challenges. Most recently I’ve even ventured into blogging to further explain some of the ideas that have given me clarity, peace, and perspective in hopes that it might help others find the same.

It was recently brought to my attention however, that I have inadvertently omitted a piece of the puzzle. I haven’t yet shared the primary catalysts helping me to act on (for example) starting said meditation practices, reading those books, and creating my personal development challenges.

This is the story of that missing piece.

It’s written more from personal experience than many things I post but that is by design. It IS my personal experience. So, take what you can, leave what doesn’t fit, but I encourage you to read with an open mind and consider if something like this might be the catalyst you’ve been missing too…

 

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Coaching

Through a series of unexpected and serendipitous events, I found myself introduced to the idea of hiring a Sales and Leadership coach.

If you knew me, you might think me an unlikely candidate for coaching. You see, I am a bit of an overachiever.

The program was described to me as “accountability coaching”. If you were to read my resume (filled with impressive stats and aggressive advancement) or visit my home (where you’d find shelves packed with self-help and business books as well as dozens of marathon and half-marathon medals) you might assume that things were going ‘pretty OK’ in the accountability department. In fact, when I told my father about wanting to get involved in a coaching program I believe his exact words were “I think you are literally the last person on the planet that needs this.”

(Don’t feel bad, I don’t think this is the first time he’s been wrong.)

 

Or – maybe that was a fair assessment. I mean really, maybe no one “needs” coaching. Just like no one “needs” to live an extraordinary life or accomplish goals beyond their wildest dreams… maybe. But I have never been satisfied with average.

However, here’s the common misconception and the thing I am asked about most often from those privy to my involvement in this… As a person “not satisfied with average” you’d have to guess that I’m ambitious from the jump.

And you’d be right.

I am.

So, why coaching?

Because; accountability.

Here’s the paradox with being an overachiever. When you are an overachiever, the world makes it really easy to be lazy.

This might sound counterintuitive, so allow me to illustrate.

pie

Pie

Let’s say you and I both work for a company that measures our value and production in the number of pies we can bake in a day.

Let’s assume that an average producer bakes 100 pies per day. Let’s also imagine that you and I are both ambitious overachievers and, as such, we can bake 125 pies per day – no problem. We can basically do this in our sleep.

It stands to reason that with slightly more effort we could probably bake 150 pies per day, but if everyone is in jaw-dropped-awe at our 125 pies are we really going to shoot for the 150? It would take an awful lot of personal inspiration and motivation to do so. Might as well ‘phone it in’ and let everyone be impressed as is with our 125 pies.

This is a lazy approach, for sure, but no one ever seems to notice.

 

Achievements and accomplishments are relative. It’s all about pushing beyond your own personal best – if you’re inspired to do so. It’s all about challenging yourself and finding out what’s possible for you! Not comparing yourself to the average.

Spoiler Alert: Comparison to anything outside of yourself is a bit poisonousness anyway.

 

I started coaching because I knew that I could bake more metaphorical pies. I knew that the world had made it too easy for me to be lazy and that if I wanted to discover what was possible it was up to me to make a change.

I paid for the program myself. Aside from my rent, it was the single most expensive monthly charge on my credit card statement. You know when people talk about the price of something and then say, “it was the best money I ever spent”? I get that. This was the best money I have ever spent. No question.

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Vision

One of my first assignments was to work on my personal vision. I had to answer thought-provoking questions about where I was going and why. I created a list of 40 goals I aimed to achieve before the age of 40 (arbitrary numbers – just because it’s catchy) and I was tasked with creating a vision board.

This may sound cheesy but stick with me… This process made me realize something. Somehow, I had spent the past few years going through the motions and feeling my way around in the dark. I hadn’t even realized I was living this way. My eyes adjusted. I had grown accustomed.

This make it feel like someone had finally flipped the lights on. “Vision”; literally.

My coach was asking me to dig deep and answer these important questions but he had no dog in the fight. Maybe it’s just me but I feel like any time I’m talking “vision” or “goals” to anyone who cares enough to hear them it seems they always have a dog in the fight. They’re always tied in. My achieving or not achieving  X goal affects them in one way or another. There had been no unbiased participants in a conversation about my personal vision. Until now.

I could answer these questions and craft my vision however I chose. Me. Solo.  And my coach would hold me accountable to this exercise and make sure it was accomplished on a deadline.

Suddenly it wasn’t selfish to spend this time reflecting and dreaming. It was necessary. It was an assignment. But the teacher didn’t win or lose based on the content of my work.

I was forced to go inward and untangle some things.

Did I mention I thought I signed up for sales coaching?

But, as I would learn, it’s all the same.

 

chess

Strategy

Of course, I learned strategies specifically designed to help me within the four walls of my office as well.

I have been in management and leadership for nearly ten years but the year I spent in coaching was the year I truly learned how to manage and lead.

It’s not that I was terrible at this before. I had actually been quite lucky throughout the decade. I employed a strategy of reading a few leadership books per year, had discovered Success Magazine audio CDs before podcasts were the norm, and had picked up some good instincts on how to navigate through the maze of hiring, training and developing – but I probably couldn’t tell you how or why I made the choices I made.

It was as if I was accidentally picked as a starting player on a soccer team and although I had never actually learned the rules of how to play soccer, I managed to score enough point per game that no one noticed I couldn’t read the playbook.

Coaching helped me to learn the rules, read the playbook, and improve the plays being run.

I was no longer winning through luck and might. I began winning through skill and strategy – which, you know, is quite a bit more sustainable.

 

As a sales professional, I began to really learn how to hone my craft in an honest and technical way. It’s not about selling more for self-centered reasons or financial gain. It’s about learning to connect faster and more sincerely with prospects, determining if they’ll genuinely benefit from your product or service, and helping them feel supported in the decision to move forward and become you client or partner, or not.

As a leader, my experience in coaching taught me how to hold others accountable through love.

That’s right. I said the “L” word. Roll your eyes if you must but this was a game changer for me.

Tough conversations stopped being tough which alleviated a ton of stress in my world and allowed me to show up and be present when working with my team. I learned (like, really learned) that holding people accountable and not accepting less than their personal best is the kindest thing I can do for them. It is my ultimate service.

I began to feel more at peace at work, interactions became deeper, our relationships strengthened, and our results improved.

I could tell you that I learned about time management but that’s not completely true.
I learned that “time management” is an excuse we use when what we really need to improve is our “self-management” and I learned self-management strategies that increased not only my results and production but also my sense of control and happiness both inside and outside of the office. I now get more done and manage far less chaos. It’s fantastic.

 

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Results

Finally, if I’ve used too many words that make you uncomfortable like vision, service, love, and peace – let me hit you with some facts and figures because that’s a language I am equally fluent in.

During my time in coaching I grew my revenue by 89%, my business hit all-time highs in production and my teams consistently landed in the top 10% of the country for New Business Acquisition.

I can boil this all down to one word; accountability.

We all need it if we ever hope to answer the question: “What’s possible?”

The overachievers, the veterans, the newcomers, and those simply (or not-so-simply) seeking more – we can ALL benefit from someone holding us responsible for achieving our own personal best.

So, how many pies can you/your business really bake in a day?

 

PEACE & LOVE

PS – For information about the coaching program I used or, you know, just to chat about accountability 😉 feel free to email me at dee@deemullinblog.com

 

Step back. Look for the water. You have work to do.

“We don’t know who discovered water, but we know it wasn’t the fish.” – Marshall McLuhan*

Do you have a goal or dream that you’re ignoring because you’re not sure you’re worthy of it? Have you ever considered one of your aspirations only to think “but who am I to accomplish this?”

This is your wake-up call!

That goal or dream is yours for a reason! It’s calling you to fulfill it! And the fact that you have it, the reality that it ever danced across your brain, that’s the goals way of telling you “you’re enough!” and “start moving!”

 

Allow me to recap the serendipitous conversation that jolted me awake to this same conclusion…

I was chatting with a girlfriend and I was telling her about my attempt at starting this blog. I was explaining how it’s been a serious challenge to come up with topics to write about.

Luckily for me she replied with the BEST. THING. EVER.

She said “I know, I’ve thought about writing a blog too, but seriously, what would I even write about? Kindness!?”

Huh.

Kindness.

Amazing.

The reason this was so helpful for me was because I would never in a million years think to write about kindness – and I still don’t intend to! Don’t get me wrong, kindness is fantastic and I am a fan! I just don’t care to be the Subject Matter Expert on Kindness – but she does!

She made that “but seriously, what would I write about?” comment so authentically that it was a total ‘fish didn’t discover water’ experience. My friend was innocently projecting her natural inclination and interests onto me (and the rest of the world)! I could practically hear her thought process of “writing about kindness wouldn’t make me special – anyone could write about kindness!”  #mindblown.

So I started to wonder… how often do we keep quiet because we think “well surely everyone is thinking this”?

How many blog posts go unwritten because we shrug and ask ourselves “who wouldn’t write a blog about ‘kindness’?”

Me! I wouldn’t! So, please – you write it – we need you!

I feel like this epiphany has Seth Godin written all over it. This is my favorite quote from the book “Linchpin”:

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And this is a quote that I have displayed on my vision board:

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And yet even as I write this I am still working through it myself. It’s not easy to discover the water as a fish – but we must keep trying!

Are you ready to take on this challenge with me?

Consider these 4 steps to get started:

  1. Share your goals and dreams. Authentically share the things you expect people will hear and react with either a “well, duh, me too!” or a “you really think you can do that?!”

Ok. Right. That’s probably scary. So start small. Grab a trusted friend who’s into self-development too and do the exercise together! Each come up with something you feel is a “moonshot” and something you believe “everyone” (including you) wants. Share and see what happens. My guess is that you’ll end up learning something interesting about your friend and encouraging him/her to go after what they want! I bet that they’ll hold up that same mirror for you.

  1. Take steps (any steps) toward your goal! I believe we grossly overestimate the competition and underestimate ourselves. I think we also miscalculate the length of time and level of pain it will take to accomplish what we want. The only way to correct these errors in judgment is to step into the arena. See the competition firsthand and throw yourself into the training regimen. Don’t overthink. Just act. Just move. Remember, the very fact that the goal is whispering in your ear is reason enough… because that same goal is not whispering in mine!
  2. Practice intentionally taking a step back. Practice awareness of the water. Remember that the world has made it so easy for you to be remarkable. Don’t dare let that go to waste!
  3. Embrace abundance. We need to know that there is ‘enough to go around’ in order for this to work!

If I operate from a place of lack (i.e.: there are a finite amount of goals that can ever be accomplished/wishes granted/dreams fulfilled) then I will believe that you accomplishing your goal decreases my odds of achieving mine.

I would guess this is one of the reasons we miss those golden opportunities for encouragement so often! If I project that you have the same dreams as me (if I believe you want to blog about ‘kindness’ too) and I believe there are a finite number of dreams fulfilled, then I will be less likely to be open with you about my plans, goals, and insecurities thereby giving you no opportunity to help and encourage me (and tell me that you don’t actually want to blog about ‘kindness’… at all).

When you understand and embrace abundance you understand that someone doing the exact same thing that you hope to do – even if they’re doing it with a greater skill level than you’re currently at – only increases your opportunities to be great!

The Backstreet Boys and N’Sync didn’t steal market share from one another… they expanded the market. (Forgive that ridiculous analogy… but I do think it applies.)

 

There are an unlimited number of dreams that can come true.

The world has made it so damn easy for you to be remarkable.

Please, do not settle.

Step back. Look for the water. Be you. You have work to do.  

PEACE & LOVE.

 

 

*I know absolutely nothing about Marshall McLuhan so I am not certain if this is the correct attribution. I googled. This is what I came up with. 

Are Your Limiting Beliefs Impacting Your Goals? (And How NOT to Manifest an Airplane)

Limiting beliefs are sneaky little pests that can do some serious damage. They’re like the mental equivalent of termites.  They can be hiding anywhere – in fact, I once found several in the last place I would’ve thought to look… my goals!?

This is a PSA. If it can happen to me it can happen to you. We need to find these suckers and exterminate them. Leave no thought unturned… even when casually daydreaming.

Manifesting a Plane

One day I was out on a “database drive” with a salesperson who reported to me. A “database drive” might be exactly what it sounds like but in case you’ve never been responsible for a sales territory I’ll explain:  Imagine a road trip, except much less fun. You drive up and down the roads in your territory and with painstaking detail you record observations from each building you pass – what is the company name? How big does it look? How many cars in the parking lot? Etc.

I see the value in this activity but I’ll admit… my mind wanders. After about 20 minutes this pseudo road trip gets very old for me.

So I was on this drive with a salesperson – I was driving, she was taking notes, and I noticed a structure set back from the road with a sign that read “Airplane Hangar For Rent” with a phone number. Immediately I thought: Man, I am dreaming too small!

I imagined that somewhere there was a couple that woke up this morning and, as they were talking across the bedroom getting ready for their respective days, one said to the other “…and after that I’m going to check out a few airplane hangars.” I marveled that this was occurring in someone’s day. The term “Airplane Hangar Rental” was blended into someone’s otherwise normal dialogue. Wow.

Why wasn’t I trying to figure out how to get a plane? What was I setting goals about?
Whatever they were they suddenly seemed too small.

I had an epiphany during that database drive. I was setting goals and intentions and using my thoughts to manifest material things but my limiting beliefs were putting a cap on my goal setting itself. (Disclaimer – I do not think that material things are the path to happiness! I know the plane will not make me happy. But having a plane would still be pretty f*&%ing cool. Why not mentally ‘go there’?)

I understand the position that aiming low could be a byproduct of staying grounded in reality… but personally, I rather aim high than be grounded.  

After that day I started to, very casually and in an unattached manner, think about hangar rentals – and other absurd/cool things that might come with owning a plane. I found it fun to visualize!

A few months later the topic of private planes came up in a conversation with girlfriends and, in an outer-body experience, I heard myself say (warning – this is embarrassing – but it happened) “I know! I decided the next man I date needs to have his own plane.”

(Insert the sound of a record scratching to a halt.)

W.  T.  F!?

How did that happen?

To give you some context, I am above average on the independent-woman spectrum. I have never relied on a man to buy me anything (well… that’s not entirely true. I asked my college boyfriend to buy me a bunny once… but that was a disaster for 11 different reasons and is truly the only example I can recall of a time where a man purchased more than a dinner on my behalf) but somehow an imaginary man found his way into my aim-high goal setting.

Why does that dude get the plane?! And why am I creating this?!

Time to exterminate that sh*t immediately.

Enter Peter Thiel

Peter Thiel has been famously quoted as asking “How can you achieve your 10-year plan in the next 6 months?”

I say “Right on! How can I?!”

Why do we place limits on how things come to us?
Why do we place limits on when they come?

I do this all the time. I write that I want to be earning X dollars by the time I am X age. But… like… WHY!?

Why the timeline?

Or, perhaps more importantly, what is that implication of that timeline?

If I personify my subconscious as a mini version of myself I can visualize her hearing the first part of the desire “I want to earn X dollars” and perking up! She grabs her mini running shoes and steels herself thinking ‘We have work to do!’ but then part two comes across her wavelength (or loudspeaker or however those things work) and she hears part two: “by age X” ‘Oh!’ she sighs ‘Jumped the gun! We have time. Let’s nap!”

I can’t help but wonder: Are we unnecessarily delaying our rewards by allowing our limiting beliefs a seat at the goal setting table?

Of course, they weren’t intentionally invited to the meeting – but have we made certain that they’re not around? Not in the walls? Not under the table? Not gnawing away on the legs of the very chair we’re seated in?

Goal-setter beware.

Here’s my recommendation and now-personal practice: Keep an open mind and unattached spirit in regards to how and when things come to you in general. Let the universe do her thing. But regularly double check your goal setting framework to ensure it’s structurally sound. Pay special attention to the language you use and investigate all time-related parameters. Don’t let your limiting beliefs delay, restrict, or diminish the full expression of your desires.

PEACE, LOVE, MANIFESTING & AIRPLANES (if that’s your thing).

Why the ‘Queen of Goals’ is Throwing Out Her 10 Year Plan

I love goals. I love setting them. I love writing them down. I love talking about them, checking them off, re-reading them, exceeding them… I love it all.

I was 24 years-old when I very randomly got my hands on the audio version of Brian Tracy’s Ultimate Goals Program. It was a game changer. I had never heard of Brian Tracy before and his message blew my mind! (Despite the direction I am going to turn in here, I highly highly recommend reading or listening to this work. I can’t stress that enough!)

As a result of Tracy’s program, I started writing down my goals on a semi-regular basis and then eventually adopted his full blown recommendation of listing your goals in the positive, personal, present-tense every single day without exception. I did this for years.

The results never disappointed. It wasn’t uncommon for me to find a ‘goals notebook’ from several years back, open to a random page, and realize that nearly everything I had set my intentions on had either come to pass or was on track with almost frightening accuracy.

Naturally, I wanted to share this positive experience so I gifted both the audio and written version of this book to a handful of people. Get me started on the subject of Brian Tracy and/or goal setting and I will happily and enthusiastically talk your ear off. This is my comfort zone. I am happy here. I am certain of the power of goal setting.

So imagine my surprised when I was chatting with a group of girlfriends this week and I completely blanked when the subject of long-term goals and ‘lasting legacy’ came up! My brain short circuited. It wouldn’t compute.

I know there are things that I want to do in the next 10 years (for example) but I don’t know where I want to be 10 years from now. Or, oddly enough, maybe I realized that part of me wants to be in the same place I am today. (That’s a trip!)

In trying to mentally reconcile why I could no longer wrap my arms around this concept I recognized that I may have abandoned the idea of a ‘destination’ altogether. I don’t know when it happened but I suppose along the way between that first audiobook and today I acquired and blended different ideas about the world that have reshaped my once solid “10 Year Plan”.

Those ideas that I have collected include (but I’m sure are not limited to):

I no longer personally feel that there is a finite end. There’s an end to ‘earth school’ as Gary Zukav (author of “Seat of the Soul” among other works) calls it, but I don’t feel like I’m up against a deadline.

In the same manner that you do not have a finite amount of time to learn things in College, I don’t feel I have a timer placed on my ability to learn while in this ‘institution’. Sure, you may not pass the exam if you don’t learn the lesson by the end of the term, but life goes on. If it’s a lesson you need, it’ll present itself again. You’ll learn once you need to apply it. You’ll get there if you must.

 

I am sincerely working on adopting a mantra of “It Won’t Make Me Happy.” In order to enforce (and reinforce) the truth that if it is external, it is fleeting at best.

At one time I really wanted a Kayak. I wrote it down every day. I lived near the water. I thought it was unfathomably oppressive to live on the water and not own a Kayak. I finally got it. I think it was yellow. There was a particularly fun (sarcasm) incident where it repeatedly fell off the roof of my car. I used it a few times but never got it out of the harbor. I left the Kayak in New York when I moved. The fulfillment literally could not have been more fleeting. Goal accomplished. (And it’s not the kayaks fault. The examples are endless)

 

My Universe is occurring inside of me – and yours inside of you. Nothing I can ‘leave’ (in terms of legacy) will mean anything to you unless I can affect you to become more aligned with you because nothing outside of you And if my affecting you is about me and what I’ve affected… it has no value anyway. (I know, it’s trippy.)

Your universe is all about you. You don’t need me to ‘leave’ you anything.

 

When I think of 10 years from now I imagine that I’ll want the exact same things I want now. I believe I’ll also want these things in 9 years, 11 years, and tomorrow at 3:07pm.

They include:

The opportunity to be creative

To contribute

To choose love

To love

To learn

To connect

To show up

To feel productive

To do “the work”

To think

To solve puzzles

To move

To breathe deeply

To meditate

To feel free

 

None (not one) of the words on that list ever landed on a ‘goals page’for me.

That’s not to say that they couldn’t! Or shouldn’t! Maybe I’ll take this new perspective right back to the habits I created at 25… it’s probably not a bad call!

 

But what the recent “10 Year Plan” conversation revealed to me is that I’ve found unexpected and deep appreciation for ‘goals’ that cannot be scratched out in a notebook or stored in a closet.

I don’t want to “get there” with any of the above these feelings or ideas.

I don’t want to solve the puzzles and then rest.

I don’t want to contribute and then retire.

I want to be present in those ways every day. If you ask me today, that feels like the ultimate achievement.

 

There is an annoying cliché (I’m sure you’ve heard it) that “Happiness is not a destination, it’s a way of life” and (begrudgingly) I can’t help but agree.

(Side note: I’m aware that I find clichés annoying because they’re overused. I am acutely aware that they’re overused because they’re so friggin tried and true.)

It’s simply not a destination for me anymore. I can no longer draw the map. I am throwing out my 10 Year Plan and trading it in for a daily internal/emotional inventory. I’ll continue to accomplish things along the way because it’s fun – and why not? Let’s test the limitlessness of manifestation! And no disrespect to the brilliant Brian Tracy as I suspect he learned this lesson long before I did – but I have a new Ultimate Goals Program – and it feels a lot like wholehearted living.

PEACE & LOVE.

Goal Setting & Self-Talk (Secret Weapon or Saboteur?)

When it comes to goal setting and (perhaps more importantly) goal attainment, Self-Talk (ST) runs the show!  

Consider these ways to bring awareness to your Self-Talk and make sure it’s acting in your favor as your secret weapon instead of conspiring against you as your saboteur…

See if this resonates:

We want to set a new goal. Let’s call it an exercise routine because, well, almost everyone has been there. Let’s assume that we want to start an exercise routine because we’re hoping to see some kind of result – call it weight loss. So we decide that we will work out 4 days per week for 45 minutes per day. (*disclaimer – this is not a ‘how to set a goal to lose weight’ post… I definitely have thoughts on that too – but this is about our ST)

ST likes this goal because it’s not daily! She says: “Daily would be hard! Ugh we seriously hate exercise!”

This is what we want to bring awareness to! She’s at it already – telling us how hard this is going to be and we haven’t even begun!

So we wake up on Monday ready to start tackling our goal of 4x/week workouts. Maybe we achieve it on Monday! Maybe we even succeed week that first week… but at some point (fairly early on for most) we break a commitment to ourselves and ST starts saying things like:

“Well, I worked out Monday and Thursday… but now it’s the weekend… What day of the week does the week actually start on? Maybe I can work out Sunday and Monday and that’s kind of the same thing… 4 out of 8 days… that’s close to 4x/week… Ugh I knew this would be hard.”

She’s totally in the “push” position.

We have to push her to keep the commitment – to hit the goal – she’s definitely not our cheerleader. We have set her up for failure and as such she’s doing the same right back to us. No good.

So how do we make her our secret weapon?

Here is the often counter-intuitive answer:

We want to set a new goal – exercise – weight loss – you know the deal. Let’s start by thinking about something that would be a lay-up to accomplish but for whatever reason we’re not currently doing it. Maybe this is something we enjoy doing (for example, if you dig dancing maybe you commit to dancing to two songs every night before you brush your teeth) or maybe it’s something that’s so easy it would be hard not to stick to it (like 15 jumping jacks every morning). Something that makes ST say: “Well yeah, we can totally do that, but is it really going to help us lose weight?!”

Bingo. That’s where we want her! The first half of her statement is beautiful… don’t worry about the second half just yet.

Stick to the easy and/or enjoyable goal for a few weeks. If you’re Type-A like I am, make yourself a check list and make a mark each day to signify that you kept your commitment.

John C Maxwell famously said: “You’ll never change your life until you change something you do daily. The secret of your success is found in your daily routine.”

If you really want to conquer something, make it a habit! Make it a DAILY goal! It is exponentially easier to figure out how to fit in 15 minutes of “X” every day than it is to try to schedule 30 minutes of “X” every other day or 45 minutes of “X” every third day. The more “mental math” is involved, the more at risk you are of not following through.

(And to scientifically define “mental math”, it sounds like this: “What day is it? Wednesday? Did I do “X” Monday? Or was that Sunday? If I skip it today I could do twice as much…” No. No. No. That is awful. That is sabotage.)

 

So at “easy/enjoyable and daily” goals ST may be our ally, but how do we turn her into our secret weapon? Simple. It happens organically with momentum.

Because I am not a dance-before-teeth-brushing kind of girl, I’m going to run with the jumping jacks example…

 

Here’s our scenario. We commit to 15 jumping jacks every morning without exception. We tell all of our friends who might be with us in the mornings so that they expect this and encourage us.

(Oh. I don’t mean like friends around the office Keurig – although the more the merrier – I really mean the people who sometimes wake up next to us… our spouses, significant others, family members… or whatever else you’re into. Not judging. Just keep your commitments!)

We print out a Word template calendar and stick it on our fridge to track our victories… and then we rock and roll! This is so easy that we can’t NOT do it. Even if we have some crazy circumstance in the morning we can always knock out 15 JJs before bedtime and call it a win. With every successfully completed session of jumping our ST whispers a little “yes!” Each check mark on the calendar gets a “woohoo!” Sure, she may know this is easy but let her revel in it for a few weeks! Give her some EASY WINS!

Eventually she’ll bite the bullet and say: “You know… we can really do a little more than this. If we added 10 pushups to the 15 jumping jacks it wouldn’t take but a minute more…”

And now she’s in the PULL position!

Every goal is easier to attain when our ST is positive. Positive ST boosts our self-esteem and improves the way we feel – and the feeling of accomplishing is not much different than the accomplishing itself. It’s hard to have one without the other.

This can be applied to all facets of your life. From weight loss to business to literally anything you want to improve. Small incremental changes that seem too easy to matter lead to improved self-talk which will propel you to bigger changes AND improved self-concept.

THAT’S what happens when you take charge of your ST in relation to goal setting and put her to work for you!